I might be overdoing it sometimes with my fixations or obsessions or whatever you want to call it, but at least I’m self-conscious.
I have realized, since a very long time, that maybe the root of all evil – when it comes to unsuccessful dating – can be the effort of dating itself. My non-dating interests didn’t increase but decreased as I got older, and that’s not how it should be. I could say “who the fuck cares how it should be”, but I actually DO care. Why? Well cause all abuses and everything that goes over the top is a loss of balance in life. Ancient greeks said it, “Παν μέτρον αριστον” which sums up to.. well, don’t over do it. (ok, I simplified 
So, I will indeed try to cut back on my usual “hobbies” and focus on new ones. And in order not to jinx it, I will post about it as soon as I actually start doing something, and not before doing it.
Otherwise, I skipped the weekly open-air free-entrance party today. I figured not stuffing another 2 litters of beer in my system wouldn’t be THAT bad, I mean, let’s face it, drinking and flirting is not going away any-time soon. Today I felt as all of this is “SO LAST YEAR”. (plus I bet good money noone actually GETS LAID after these.) But to be completely honest, I went out last night, and I did massive amounts of all of that -my colleagues saw another side of me, as I got shit-faced and decided to try my chances with several Eastern European blondes-. (which remind me: I’ve never really hit on an Eastern European, and there’s definitely something strange about them.) My colleagues said they found me very brave. I bet they’re lying ( I would say bravely stupid). The highlight of the night was this one girl: Of course blonde etc etc, really nice outfit and slim style, I went over and started asking these general questions. When she said “I’m an intern”, I followed with “oh, and how long are you staying?”. And when she replied “two or three weeks more” I said “oh ok, was very nice meeting you, see you around!”. But enough bout that.
I watched a film that seriously MOVED me. The funny thing is that I had since like MONTHS and I didn’t want to watch it. It’s called “Paris” (just that) and it was out in 2008. There are many good French actors in it, including maybe the DEFINITION of a girl one would MADLY FALL IN LOVE FOR, Mélanie Laurent. I don’t think my words are enough to describe her, a photo doesn’t do justice as the real falling in love starts when she speaks, a typical perfect example of a French girl… there she is:
WHICH REMINDS ME: How sad is it, that French girls can be so feminine, so sweet, so witty.. and yet.. have such bad characters when it comes to real connection and next level.
I Bought new shooees ! yeei ! I actually had to order them cause they didn’t have my size, but I was so sure I was buying them. I just put them and the fit like a glove. It’s so my style. So, after this good purchase, I was quite happy with my life that I didn’t feel any guilt for skipping a bunch of tipsy blondes in the festival.
Tomorrow it’s the Fete de La musique, and I am probably going out and about, NO drinking as this beer belly is getting bigger and bigger, lots of walking, and a friend is setting me up with someone late afternoon. I KNOW I KNOW, I said no dating, but he offered, the girl looks good -photo wise-, she’s even older than me, sounds like a good one. A well preserved 30ish yr old blonde Belgian with taste in music and art – as my friend said – . Let’s see, with my history, I’m not really optimistic, but.. I’ll post about this tomorrow night – I guess – (If I don’t, start to worry)
Sleep tight folks
