29
May
2010
:(
Something really bad happened. Out of nowhere.
The following days I will have to finally face something I’ve being avoiding for many years.
I don’t have any idea how I’ll handle it or how long it will last. I don’t want to get into details, post about it, talk about it or share it in any possible way. I just want to be alone now. Just to get used to it.
25
May
2010
Homesick flash
I was out for a drink to a square called Place Flagey and I took the bus to come back home. The bus was the same model as 90% of the Greek buses. Felt pretty weird even if I hadn’t being in a Greek bus for several years..
Silly isn’t it? Should I be worried?
I was talking with an italian the other day and I realized what I suspected since some months: I kinda miss the Mediterranean mentality. This tap on the shoulder, the expression, the warmth, the passion. The endless fights on who’s paying the bill.
Argh.
Well I guess it will be gone by tomorrow.
25
May
2010
Drums!
Being newly arrived to a new city, you first try to fit in. Fitting in means meeting new people and making compromises. Thus, you try to be as open and diplomatic you can with everyone (cause you know practically noone right?)
And sometimes, if you try too hard to fit in, shit start to happen.
For a character as strong/weird/leading as mine, the limits of putting up with stuff are really low.
Therefore, after some compromising, and some more, I went boom! ARGH! I DON’T WANNA BE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE THAT I DON’T FEEL THAT GOOD WITH JUST BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE AROUND SOMEONE THANK U VERY MUCH.
So I feel utterly, completely alone, regardless the number of people I know. (OK, except one or two persons. But that’s it.)
So now, before I go any further, I would really like it if:
1/ I could meet people that I can communicate with – but really communicate !
or
2/ have contact with the ones I already realized I can communicate in the first place.
And because I can be ridiculously proud and self-centered, these people need to do the first step thank you very much ^2
note to self : stop believing that people will magically start to turn around you as if they were satellites just when they realize how great [sic] you are.
note to self 2: it’s past midnight and u gotta get up for work tomorrow.
note to you: full volume for that please… ! ! ! ! !
23
May
2010
Small music Break
I discovered them back in 2007. They rule and I adore them. Makes you feel as some dark moments of Nirvana do. Maybe more like Anathema. This one was written in 1994, more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazzy_Star
22
May
2010
And she said and then I said and she goes
Darn you alcohol.
After a rough week and last nights “we’ll just go for a drink”, today I came back home already with a slight headache, turning out to a migraine attack – typical -. After I convinced my (french) (@#$2) neighbor to turn the music down a bit, I literally passed out – literally no recollection of time – and woke up somewhere in my couch around 22h , thankfully, feeling a bit better..
As I recently wrote, couple of days ago I had a chat with K. Most of you readers (-friends) know this story, I presume.
I just put Round Bout Midnight to the (new) stereo (btw: new stereo rocks!!), as I did each day in these horrible two months of the summer of 2008. This album saved my life pretty much as it was the only thing that could bring peace in my mind back then. (note to newbies: don’t try it out if you’re not into jazz. You won’t get it, it will sound absurd, crazy.)
I let myself dive into the memories, while.. ironing my shirts. And it felt weird. Surviving a big breakup is a life-exchanging experience (and I feel sorry for those who haven’t gone through something like that by avoiding to get attached or any other reason etc etc)
I have talked about these things again and again but it is so crazy if you come to think about it. I wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t been through this back then. But that’s not my subject now.
My subject is that .. well .. I feel weird. This person, even though the breakup, rebound, and all possible phases of the breakup are gone, is a big part of me. One could say it’s cause after that there was nothing as big or even a little. Or that’s just how it is. You carry a part of the people you’ve shared moments with as you continue in life. Any kind of moments. Provided that people did not deliberately tried to hurt you, were honest – at least for the basics -, and you had fun with.
The talk was interesting, and fun, but now I feel like keeping what was said for myself. Sorry for not sharing. Maybe another time.
Anyway, it’s getting 02:00, and I maybe could try sleeping.. The headache is gone and I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a really nice day. More on that… soon.
jazz hands!
*
19
May
2010
BAGUETTE!
Thankfully sun appeared throughout last weekend, nice opportunity to do some shopping, hang out with neighbors (at last, fun neighbors!) and go for drinks. Good news: sleeping habits back to normal.
Although the first days of the week should be good, there was this subconcious thingie bugging me which I couldn’t really locate. Although I have a hint or two.
I was really annoyed with my internet connection. I found out AFTER signing for my apartment that I have a download/upload traffic limit. A ridiculously low one for that matter. And when Tuesday night (series night) I came back home, and sat down to have a nice single-style dinner and watch some good old American series, I realized I had consumed like 90% of my traffic for the month. SHIT.
Oh, I shouldn’t forget: I DISCOVERED A DECENT SUPERMARKET in the town center, “Carrefour”. Yes I think that’s news highlight of the week. (non censored). I love supermarkets. I just filled my fridge with stuff and off to go for new recipes. Thank god I don’t dance too, otherwise I would be seriously worried for my manhood.
Today I woke up really lazy. I didn’t quite feel going to work. I think the time that I’ll need a day or two off work gets closer and closer. (although this weekend is a long one! yeah!). I had a looong breakfast, watched tv, and walked slooowwwwly to work, by doing the ‘obsessive’ walk : following the tiles in a perfect line. ( I do that when I’m thinking ). I guess I was thinking couple of things, one being my last nights talk with K. (more on that later or in another post..). I arrived at work, surprisingly on time, and when sun came out around noon I grabbed some of the colleagues and did what I had never imagined doing in my life: HAD LUNCH ON THE GRASS. Gosh, I feel so.. Western European now! (my ass is a bit wet though:).
MY STEREO ARRIVED! I got the package here at work: IT IS HUGE! Fun times moving from here to back home. (update: just crossed all city with a huge SAMSUNG box on my lap)
Good days of the week are getting closer. It’s practically weekend! Starting today, there are “meeting spots” around the city. The Posh Belgians today, the Eurocrats tomorrow, the .. whatever.. during the weekend in the Belga place, and the new-raves called Piknik Elektronique in Sunday! (yeah!)
