Getting over someone you dated is the most discussed issue globally, maybe after the “Is there life after death?” question.
So I thought I’d throw some experience here, maybe even as a ‘scrapbook’, not only for you readers, but for me too. I’ll be probably posting several of those, since the subject is rather vast.
Today’s post is:
Why does it hurt?
Analyzing and locating the root of all evil can be a crucial step to healing.
Ask yourselves questions like: How long have you dated? How much things did you share? How good sex was? These are all things that can help you see the truth about the seriousness of the relationship, and the causes of your pain. (There are some easier ways too, I’ll get to that later..)
I find that often what we mix after a breakup is our ego and our feelings, and 9 out of 10 it’s our ego that hurts. We may not miss the person, but we hurt cause we feel as if we weren’t “good enough” for them.
And when our ego hurts, 9 out of 10 (again), it’s because of lack of self-confidence. People who don’t have good foundations of that tend to be more easily hurt than others.
Being rejected in a scale of 1 to 10 regarding seriousness can be as mild as a 3 and as bad as an 8. If you didn’t have good foundations of self-confidence, than a simple rejection can be like a medium earthquake hitting China. In other words, you can hurt even when rejected from someone you weren’t even interested in to begin with.
Quick Method to filter out ego-caused pain
Go out and flirt. Target someone objectively hotter then the previous one. Bring your A-Game and do the job. Don’t go further than flirting though.
Do you suddenly feel healed? We got your answer right here, and it’s good news. Pain won’t last longer than 24 hours, especially if you start dating the new – improved – version of your ex. (ex? which ex?)
Do you find everyone less attractive than him/her? Opsie. We MAYBE got a crisis on our hands, but don’t panic. One thing is for sure, and MARK MY WORDS: It’s all an illusion, your mind is playing games.
When I was dealing with a serious breakup back in 2008, a friend said “Even if the love of your life passed in front of you, you wouldn’t feel a thing.” This means that of course there are more attractive people, (unless you dated fuckin Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, or Monica Belucci), but your state of mind is not ready to see them. You obviously need some time. You also need to work on the self-confidence foundation we talked about earlier. Dealing with this scenario will be the next subject.
To be continued with:
Getting from why to how: Practical advice to get yourself up, dust yourself off, and make him/her regret.
