The title of this post is lame.
Laying on my bed of the Parisian hotel I’m spending some days at with the family, I am going to throw myself in blogging and narrating a bunch of stuff that I wanted to write since many weeks.
I feel like saying that I have began to have a special connection with writing and blogging. Sometimes I just write stuff here to put them in an order in my head, it is a form of therapy, thus the title of the post.
I am not happy now.
First of all, although I can clearly see an upcoming good turn of events, at the moment, I am not feeling so good. This is no surprise, since each year, ever since my source of happiness stopped being a new game-console, I get depressed on holidays. (yes, I know, now you’re going to say: “what’s wrong with you” “depression in the summertime depression in the Christmas holidays”.)
Well, here it goes, each year during Christmas 1/ I am single 2/ I am lonely / left-out / not invited to any good parties (which maybe is indirectly related to 1)
Ok, come on, tell me that being single during christmas isn’t just a big fat SUCK. Well, for me it is.
And what’s up with the general loneliness ? Yes, let’s go there PLEASE.
The other kids are not playing with me mom.
After one year and a half living in France, after many blogposts analyzing behaviors etc etc, here is my profound conclusion:
FRENCH PEOPLE DON’T LIKE FOREIGNERS.
There, I said it.
I won’t even BEGIN to say why and how and where do I base this terrible generalization which is maybe not fair thing to say bla bla bla bla bla.
I’ll just tell you one thing, there are 2 levels of ‘acceptance’.
One, the basic: A foreign state let’s you live and study or work, provides social security, social benefits, services, etc.
Two, Social integration: I am a well-educated, frequently-washed, relatively-presentable, financially-above-average, 26 year old man. I speak three languages including French, my host country’s language. Yet, a big majority of people here, treated me as someone “not as good”, call it inferior, call it whatever you want. I think I begin to understand all those immigrants living in ghettos and refusing to integrate. (although personally I’d choose to get the fuck out of here) (which I am)
Where do you go?
Fate played weird and ‘amusing’ games again. Around November I received this interesting offer for a short-term mission in some agency of the EU. Where? In this far far northern country, with the thousands of lakes where the sun struggles to rise above the horizon during wintertime, land of Nokia and home of Santa Clauss. (Ok I suppose you got it already.)
I spent couple of minutes before deciding to say “YES!”, and being happy I finally was getting my Scandinavian experience started laying the groundwork for living conditions etc
That’s good news!
Seems (once more!) someone or something didn’t want me to go there (so close!). Instead, a last-minute opening in another neighboring country/city I am very familiar with and I almost moved in September (Brussels), was considered more suitable for me.
It is not yet official or ‘done’, so normally I shouldn’t be blogging about it, but what the heck. I feel like saying stuff tonight.
What is the good part in that story?
When one time an EX-GF of mine cheated on me, a friend said “If you don’t leave something when you should, it leaves you instead”. And this is what happened with France. When I took the decision to stay in September, I knew very well it wasn’t “the right thing to do”. I knew I was struggling to prolong a “student” state I didn’t wanna lose. And here’s what happened.
The good part? I’ve kinda hit rock bottom. Now, with hopefully everything going according to plan, I will be soon moving to BRU, for the long-term, trying a new lifestyle as a working single guy there. It can only get better, now with the Christmas being over and all!
I am SURE I forgot something!…
Of course I did. As each time I do. That’s the whole point of it! I can’t say all in one post, it’s impossible! Besides, I’m so tired. Paris is quite big and you have to go up and down the numerous Metro lines several times within a day.
Tomorrow, another kind of therapy: SHOPPING THERAPY! (It works!) And, several other stuff, which I will narrate in the days to follow …
G’night!
