Even if there were exceptions, (don’t blog drunk!), lately I have been keeping it quiet (blog-wise). Most of it was non-personal, or “off topic”.
I was trying to gather forces for other stuff, and I didn’t have much to say anyway. Mostly because I am in a transitional phase that I honestly have no clue where it will drive me. The need to move on, professionally, and socially, is overwhelming, but without no results from the job front, there can be no moving on, no planning ahead.
Unfortunately, this last phase, even with small bright positive exceptions, has plenty of negative experiences. Maybe the stress, the summertime (which historically is NOT my best season), maybe the fact that today, aged 26, I still CAN’T GET IT as concerned with social relations and declare AMATEUR when having to do with manipulating, acting out, using friends and connections just to get my way, or “be good with everybody” or “just in case we need them“, are contributing to the few-but existent-downhills.
Or maybe all this has to do just with the fact that my time schedule is not as well planned or full as I’d like to, so instead of occupying myself with important stuff, I’m spending energy into things (or people) that just are not that important. (or to whom I am not that important)
Not entirely true though: Lately I have been reading a lot, getting really into Design, one thing I always liked but I had never studied, and being creative on the web area. By improving my skills, and sorting out my thoughts on “what exactly I want to do” subject, I feel more confident about my researches, and at the same time unfortunately realize the huge mistake I did studies-Masters-wise. But that’s a whole other talk.
Choosing not to get into details about all bad experiences right now, I’ll stop my blogpost, and save myself from writing stuff I may regret tomorrow, or just whining for no substantial reason. With the hope that things work out soon for me, I’ll take a (hope short) pause for the cause in the blogging thing.
I promise that as soon as I feel this chapter has closed, I’ll come back with a long, enjoyable post that it will surely give lots lots to think about, and releases some if not all of the great amount of pressure I get this last period.
