This is the warning sign all women should carry, at least for my sake.

Some months ago, M said: “You’re no fun when you’re dating”. And suddenly it hit me: She was right!

I think after my personal life the last two years, I have managed to become what I was trying to avoid and maybe criticize in the first place:

A sworn bachelor.

After slowly realizing that my view of relationships as romantic fairytales was (aside from gay lol) driving me to a very dark path, I got into thinking.

And M’s comment, hit me like a punch in the balls: I was definitely having and being more fun when single.

And then I built my nest, as most people do nowadays: My strict personal space, in which I’d run to after a hint of a new disappointment.

Now I am just wondering where this is leading me. I don’t think it needs special skills to see where, but is it really where I want to end?

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9:20, Alarm.

9:21, Get up and have a fast breakfast.

9:30, Suit and fag bag in the suitcase.

9:40, Shit, already 9:40. Train leaves at 10:40, bus for train station 10:00.

9:41, Stressed.

9:45, Finalize stuff and run to take the bus.

9:50, Suitcase wheels make this hissing, terrible noise.

9:51, This noise never translates to something good.

9:52, Nostalgic.

10:10, Bus. A bit of a stress, nothing like the first time.

10:15, New SMS!

10:15, Happy.

10:16, “1 New Message: LCL Bank. : New Balance, 1550€, Latest withdrawals: 40€…”

10:16, Sad.

10:25, Train station.

10:26, Bored.

10:40, Train is here.

10:41, A couple is saying a warm goodbye with “couples language” before the guy gets on the train.

10:41, Overheard: Je t’aime, on se voit bientôt.

10:41, Sad

10:45, Train on its way.

10:50, Feel better.

13:37, Arrival in Paris, tired.

13:38, Paris is chaotic.

13:39, Urine smell everywhere.

14:00, Noone can seem to find easily how to go from Gare de Lyon to Gare du Nord.

14:10, Gare du Nord, European Smell, filled with people going to Belgium.

14:20, Train

15:47, Arrival at Brussels. Feels nice. Feels international.

.

.

.

to be continued

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Even if there were exceptions, (don’t blog drunk!), lately I have been keeping it quiet (blog-wise). Most of it was non-personal, or “off topic”.

I was trying to gather forces for other stuff, and I didn’t have much to say anyway. Mostly because I am in a transitional phase that I honestly have no clue where it will drive me. The need to move on, professionally, and socially, is overwhelming, but without no results from the job front, there can be no moving on, no planning ahead.

Unfortunately, this last phase, even with small bright positive exceptions, has plenty of negative experiences. Maybe the stress, the summertime (which historically is NOT my best season), maybe the fact that today, aged 26, I still CAN’T GET IT as concerned with social relations and declare AMATEUR when having to do with manipulating, acting out, using friends and connections just to get my way, or “be good with everybody” or “just in case we need them“, are contributing to the few-but existent-downhills.

Or maybe all this has to do just with the fact that my time schedule is not as well planned or full as I’d like to, so instead of occupying myself with important stuff, I’m spending energy into things (or people) that just are not that important. (or to whom I am not that important)

Not entirely true though: Lately I have been reading a lot, getting really into Design, one thing I always liked but I had never studied, and being creative on the web area. By improving my skills, and sorting out my thoughts on “what exactly I want to do” subject, I feel more confident about my researches, and at the same time unfortunately realize the huge mistake I did studies-Masters-wise. But that’s a whole other talk.

Choosing not to get into details about all bad experiences right now, I’ll stop my blogpost, and save myself from writing stuff I may regret tomorrow, or just whining for no substantial reason. With the hope that things work out soon for me, I’ll take a (hope short) pause for the cause in the blogging thing.

I promise that as soon as I feel this chapter has closed, I’ll come back with a long, enjoyable post that it will surely give lots lots to think about, and releases some if not all of the great amount of pressure I get this last period.

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is the number of photos I’ve seen since I made my Facebook account.

I got my first invitation for Facebook around Summer 2007. Then, being already a member of Myspace and Hi5, I just ignored it. I was like WTF, ANOTHER social network. After receiving literally dozens of invites from ALL of my email contacts, I decided to accept near January 2008, finding myself deactivating my account just some hours later, unable to understand shit of how this thing worked. (in my defense back in 2008 the Facebook interface had NOTHING to do with today’s one.)

I don’t remember how or why, but I reactivated some weeks later, finding my email inbox stuffed with Facebook notifications about applications and news and alerts and you name it.

Within months Facebook was all over the press, the media – online or offline -.

Today, noone knows exactly the reasons Facebook went from an outsider to a major social networks player. There have been some thoughts:

• It’s clean look, unlike Hi5 and Myspace who with their “customized” pages made the User Experience impossible.
• The innovation of applications which enabled interaction between users with several different new ways, unlike other networks “messaging-based” and “comments-based” system.
• Facebook’s character as more Friendly-casual and less “dating” oriented.
• Facebook’s controlled friendships, avoiding having massive friends lists who ended up being just a collection of total strangers.
• Real First Name and Last Name registration.

That’s some of the stuff I recall being talked to the blog universe.

Personally, it’s been some time now I have started to question Facebook’s need and methods:

• Facebook’s applications are being used and then abandoned some days after by users
• User interaction has again returned to messaging and chatting
• Friendships are going massive. Facebook system suggests you being friends with anyone that you happen to have one or two common friends with, or just likes the same movie or music band as you do
• Many questions around user’s private data, Facebook licencing etc

A great thing that Facebook was praised for was the EVERYONE HAS IT hype! Heck, I have found literally ALL my Elementary/College/High school classmates over there! and few hours after adding them and browsing their profiles and photo albums, I realized:

I don’t really give a damn …!

Let’s face it: If you would like to keep contact with someone, you don’t need any web application to help you do so! You got older and more solid inventions: Emails - Mobile Phones

By today, most of Facebook’s average users have ended up with a contact list 80% of it is people you have no interest in talking to. With the remaining 20% you prefer to use more reliable, direct apps, like Skype, MSN or Google Talk..

And THE PHOTOS. Oh gosh. I mean, I have done it too, I admit it. But seriously it’s getting really annoying.

I don’t wanna act like a PURIST or anything, but I have a natural DISGUST, CARVED in my genes, about BIG TRENDS. I DESPISE them. A big part of Facebook’s success is massive digital cameras. Endless photos were staying dusty in large Hard Disk Drives, (since their enormous file sizes stopped people from even mailing them), and all of a sudden Facebook came to the rescue.

People nowadays go on a trip, clubbing, or everywhere, and their only worry is TAKE AS MANY PHOTOS AS POSSIBLE TO PUT THEM ONLINE. (and show-off) Needless to say that since most of the people are photograph-amateurs (myself included) most of the photos just plain suck, or are just boring and uninteresting. (since as we said they come from the 80% of our dead-contacts/friendships). I mean, if you haven’t done something REALLY wild why should I see it. “This is me on the stairs”. “This is me after drinking and looking like shit”. “This is me and my friends” “This is me at xxxx <insert random popular place>”

And to all those people, I have to remind that there was a time when Internet users were EXTREMELY picky to the websites they would use their real names to. And nowaydays you just put not only your FACE but also your FULL NAME being tagged doing stuff that many times you wished noone would know about.

My two cents

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