Aww… now that’s how you appreciate a Laptop. When you unplug it and take it with you to bed. (although I suppose that’s noone’s ideal bed company)

I have been picturing this moment for quite a long time, but it seems that now that it’s here, I am experiencing a small writer’s block. Anyway here it goes.

Today, late afternoon, I’m flying to Paris and then Marseille. And then taxi or bus to Aix En Provence. (some people tend to call it just ‘Aix’, pronounced ‘X’ or ‘EX’) Aix is like 15’ from the Marseille Airport and 20’ or 25’ from the city center itself.

Friday was maybe the most stressful day so far, it seems my last(?) visit to TEI (my university) was going to be the most ‘adventurous’ one. I nearly spent the whole day there (and it’s been years since I’ve done that) in order to do all the required arrangements and save myself from making an obligatory trip back to Athens in February 2009.

The last couple of days or weeks I wondered if I am at least a bit sad for leaving or not. And every time I felt something close to that, next minute something happened and I was like “thank god I’m leaving”. Something stupid like the constant BARKING of my neighbor’s THREE DOGS or a prolonged horning within the traffic-chaos, or a bunch of citizens waiting at the bus stop in THIVON str. complaining that the bus is 10 or 20 or 30 minutes late. Damn. Has ANYTHING changed in this city?

But lets leave that aside. I think I’m not a city boy anyway. And maybe I’ll never be. Maybe others can tolerate better the situation. Or they just don’t have any options. And indeed some things have changed in the city. And afterall, Athens is TOTALLY different than Greece.

Friends who read the blog, ask me often the last days “Do you really want to leave?”, “Are you happy you’re leaving?”, “Oh, you ll never come back”. Well, lets take these one by one. I must say, I always wanted to leave for France, although as some of you know, the events happened in the last time period here, forced me to take decisions in a rush, or maybe under a state of mind not so clear. I wondered a lot for the actual reason I am leaving, and even though I was theoretically preparing, I wasn’t going to take that step if I wasn’t absolutely sure I am doing this because I want it, I like it, I dreamt it and now I‘m making it happen.

Still, it’s strange when you think about it, how a sequence of events can lead one of us to completely different life scenarios. Would this happen if the previous one didn’t happen? Would something else happen? Would anything happen? Of course that’s questions noone can answer, but let’s stick to that saying: “Everything happens for a reason”.

So, since I really want to leave, I must also be happy for leaving. They say, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow”. I am happy, but sometimes I think it would be nice if i could share these moments with someone special else. For now, I’m sharing them with all of you, in a slightly different way.

As for the “I’m never coming back” thingie, well, it doesn’t sound such a frightening thought. Afterall, I made the decision having in mind that France is a country which I could picture myself spending years. I could go to the UK, but i didn’t. Especially the Southern France part, where I’m going, is for many people working in Paris or Brussels, a paradise. It’s France, with a mediterranean aftertaste. Other objective factors exist also. My age for example. Being 25 and going for a Masters, is totally different than a 18yr old who goes to the UK for a quick degree. And as for the job thing, it’s very likely that I ‘ll have a possible business way out because the Master’s I’m doing offers a very good practical training. This can get you quickly integrated into the market.

Last but not least, even though as time went by I adapted to the Greek/Athens situation, I still feel like I don’t belong here. And it’s not only my impression or a fixation, it’s something everyone who knows me well admits. The last three or four years were going better I can say, but still, the lifestyle, the social circles, the daily stuff, all were still below average for me.Ye,ye, old boring me, always wanting something better.

Speaking of social circles, the last couple of months, were also a good trial for .. people. Friends. Not so close friends. Buddies. People “you just know”. I want to be really careful with what I’ll say, cause I know I tend to be over-demanding from friends, getting them to a point that they really can’t respond. But I also know well, that these months, there were moments, and not just one or two, when some of them, and I stress some, didn’t respond at all. I can’t hide my disappointment for that. On the other hand, strangely, I realised that people I met recently or knew hardly, were more than present, more than many longterm-one’s.

I haven’t yet decided how I’ll handle relations and relationships. It seems that there are some common patterns in both. Until now, my “strategy” (if you can call it that way, since It’s not something i do with a plan or on purpose) was: After you decide someone’s a good person, dont hold back, and give. That has both good sides and bad sides. The bad thing, as many of you already know, is that when you give too much, and don’t hold back as much, there’s the big risk of not getting much back in return or even ending up getting hurt because you’re egoism/personal priorities e.t.c. are left aside and the other one steps over them. The good thing, is that after the storm, when you know you’ve given (and it’s something you know you know, no doubt about it), your consciousness is clear. You may feel a bit hurt, a bit mistreated, a bit betrayed, but these feelings subside quickly. What doesn’t subside quickly enough, or re-emerges to the surface after a while, is the guilt you feel when you did the opposite and held back, or didn’t give, or kept yourself as the no.1 priority. The other day, the lady who owns the video club nearby, got me into talking about relationships. She’s a 45yr old woman, so i shut up and let her speak. She said “you young people can’t stay into relationships much cause you’re overly independent.” Hm, maybe true.

I had in mind to write you some stuff about where I’m going and what’s that place all bout, but unfortunately, I don’t have time! My bags are not completely ready, and I should hit the road at 15:00! I’ll post you some info of the place and stuff, after I go there. Will be more precise! Don’t ask me when I’m going to have an internet connection, I don’t have the slightest clue. But I’ll try to go online soon.

Byebye everyone. Even though I’ve complained a lot, I bet I’ll miss lots of stuff and people from here. Some of you are going to visit I suppose, so see you there.

I’m not that good with goodbyes.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites